BAFTAs: Liam Payne performance opens awards ceremony
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Millions of fans across the globe were devastated when they heard the news that One Direction were going their separate ways. But the hiatus didn’t keep Payne off the charts for long. In 2016 he came back with massive hit Strip That Down, which peaked at number three in the official charts. Talking on a podcast recently, the singer revealed the downside to his success which led to addiction.
Appearing on The Diary of a CEO, the star spoke like never before.
He emotively spoke about how at the height of the band’s fame, he was secretly suffering with his mental health.
When asked by podcast host Steven Bartlett if he had ever had “moments of suicidal ideation”, the singer admitted: “Yeah. There is some stuff that I’ve definitely never spoken about to do with it. It was really, really, really severe. It was a problem.”
These problems reached a climax as the only way to escape the madness of fame was to lock the band members in rooms with nothing but a minibar.
Liam said: “In the band… the best way to secure us, because of how big we’d got, was just to lock us in our rooms. What’s in the room? A mini-bar.
“So at a certain point I thought, I’m just going to have a party-for-one and that seemed to carry on for many years of my life… It was wild but it was the only way you could get frustration out.”
The star was unaware of how big his addiction problems had gotten until he saw himself in shocking pictures taken by the press.
Talking about this Liam said: “There were a few pictures of me on a boat and I was all bloated out and I call it my pills-and-booze face.”
He went on to say that his face was “10 times bigger” than it should have been.For the singer this time in his life was “rock bottom,” but he admits that he is “very good at hiding it. No one would ever have seen it”.
The star recalled his exact moment as a wake-up call and decided there and then that he needed to make a change.
He continued to say: “ I just didn’t like myself very much and then I made a change.”Getting over his demons was a huge achievement for the star, but then the Covid pandemic struck – bringing with it a national lockdown.
During the lockdown the star’s alcohol struggles crept back. Talking about the lockdown he described downtime as “the worst thing in the world”.
He continued to say: “It was just getting earlier and earlier. Easier and easier to go to. What I’ve found more than anything with the alcohol and stuff is boundaries.
“There were no boundaries. So, if you’re on Zoom you quite easily hide that you might be a little bit tipsy at the point you shouldn’t be.”
As well as excessive drinking the star’s diet also deteriorated with him putting on weight. Embarrassed about his weight gain the star would use elaborate excuses to try and justify his actions.
He revealed that he would say: “I was eating badly and describing it as a bulking period, [saying], ‘I’m doing it for a movie role! It’s all good!’ That’s the best excuse if anyone asks if you’ve put on weight, say, ‘It’s for a role. It’s coming out in 2022.’”
The mental health charity Mind explains that suicidal feelings are when individuals have abstract thoughts about ending your life or feeling that people would be better off without you. Different people have different experiences of suicidal feelings and they might be connected with another mental health disorder or condition. These feelings can become so serious that they start to impact your physical health. Physical symptoms of suicidal thoughts include the following:
- Poor sleep, including waking up earlier than you want to
- A change in appetite, weight gain or loss
- No desire to take care of yourself, for example neglecting your physical appearance
- Wanting to avoid others
- Making a will or giving away possessions
- Struggling to communicate
- Self-loathing and low self-esteem
Urges to self-harm.It is crucial that if you or someone close to you is experiencing suicidal thoughts that they receive help. The Samaritans are available to talk to 24 hours a day on 116 123, or you can text the word SHOUT to 85258.
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